Chasing 'Round
by Blue Phoenix Flower
Summary: James T. Kirk has been searching for something all his life and it wasn't was everyone thought. He, the notorious playboy that chased after anything that moved and was considered sentient life, was looking for...a committed relationship!


**Crept into my head and refused to let go. Enjoy!**

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><p>The first time James Tiberius Kirk realized that he had a soul mate was during the hellhole that was Tarsus IV. All he could think was that there had to be someone ought there that could handle the mess that was his life. His family didn't really do that.<p>

Hell, the reason why things were so bad was because of his shitty family life. It was like something out of a bad soap opera, whatever that was. His father was killed on the same day that Jim was born so his mom couldn't look at him without cringing; his step-father was the ultimate asshole and chased every good thing, memories and all, out of the farm.

Jim needed Sam. But Sam wasn't there anymore.

As Jim was lying in the medical bay, he decided to look for that person who could handle the craziness: a soul mate.

The chase began right when he was healthy enough to be discharged from the hospital. Riverside found itself unusually quiet after than since their number one troublemaker quickly passed his GED and got out of town.

For the next couple of years, Jim traveled around the world. He discovered that sex was a better rush than almost driving a car over a cliff and helped him bury so much of his past. But there was still something missing until the day he met Carol Marcus.

Carol was the best thing that ever happened to Jim. She was gorgeous, extremely smart, and wasn't afraid to fight for what she believed in. They were 19 years old and in love. There was nothing that could go wrong. They were going to marry when Carol finished up her PhD.

But it was all for naught.

Their fights became nasty. She thought that he needed to apply himself more. He thought that she needed to relax every once in a while. All the make-up sex in the world couldn't fix it. Jim found the apartment emptied and his heart shattered irrevocably.

When he was 21 years old, Carol Marcus had informed him that she just gave birth to a son he would never meet. When Jim saw that message and the slightly smug look in Carol's eyes, he thought, 'Fuck my life.'

And he was right.

In the year that followed, Jim decided to do the things that everyone said he would do. He was a drunk; he landed his ass in jail multiple times, and basically fucked anything that moved in hopes of finding that ever-so-elusive soul mate of his. Meeting Pike helped his situation a little bit. He was stopped the hard drinking and jail time, exchanging those things for even more sex. He did come across a soul mate though.

It wasn't even the right word for it. Leonard Horatio McCoy, aka Bones, is the best friend that Jim could ask for. Bones had accepted the tough shit that came from hanging out with Jim while Jim accepted there was an actual softie under the cankerous man but it was buried so deep from the heartbreak that Jocelyn gave him. Despite the amazing ease of the relationship that they had, there was something that was lacking. They were friends and brothers but there wasn't any lover in part of that deal. Jim tried to make himself love Bones in that way but it failed. All. The. Fucking. Time.

To cope with this inability, Jim fucked more while still hanging out with Bones. Even if this was the closest to perfection that he could do, it was going to be the best goddamn thing that ever happened to them.

It worked for 3 years.

Then Jim finally met his other half.

Commander Spock was well known around the Academy as one of the few Vulcan officers in Starfleet and the best xenolinguistics professor on campus. That was all that Jim knew before the _Kobiyashi Maru _incident which eventually lead to the _Narada _mess. Over the course of 12 hours, everything flipped.

Vulcan was destroyed, killing billions of people, by a sociopathic Romulan. As for the reason why, it involved black holes and alternate realities all caused by a much older Vulcan-Human hybrid named Spock.

The one event that really stood out in Jim's mind was the hasty mind-meld shared with the elder Spock. Never had he realized that Spock did feel (was "human" for a lack of a better term) and the enhanced depth that came behind it. Everything became lucid and Jim found himself understanding the things that the younger Spock did and the reasoning behind them. It wasn't that he fell in love at that moment, it was an understanding. Jim could now see how much pain and sequestration that the man suffered in his life. Kinship was established.

Plus the absolute faith that the older Vulcan had in him made Jim feel a hell of a lot better about his life.

Long story short, Nero was vanquished (what exactly happened when the _Narada _was sucked into the black hole had become a debate between all the crew members). The _Enterprise_ was handed over to the rightful captain, James T. Kirk, and crew with the promise of many new adventures coming in the future.

Everything was perfect.

Over the course of 3 years, the crew became closer than what could be possible for Starfleet. Jim stopped hitting on Uhura and they became unexpectedly close. Another unexpected friendship for Uhura was the one with Scotty. The two had found that they had a lot in common and spent a lot of time together talking about music. Sulu and Chekov were the sources of much teasing and speculation among the senior officers. It was obvious that they had crushes on each other and they were afraid to admit it. Speaking of another such couple, the stereotypical doctor and nurse romantic spiel was definitely occurring no matter what Bones said.

As for Jim and Spock, there never was and never will be such a cooperation or compatibility between a Captain and their First Officer.

Jim never saw the beauty in order before meeting Spock.

Spock never saw the colors in chaos prior to meeting Jim.

So it made absolute sense that Jim recognized that his soul mate was this Vulcan.

It was in the middle of alpha shift and nothing important was occurring at the moment. The ship was cruising at Warp Factor 3 en route to a planet nearby when Jim noticed how uneasy he was. There was no reason behind it and it was one of the few times when "normalcy" reigned on the _Enterprise_. He pondered about it until the turbo lift opened and Spock entered.

Jim was instantly calmed when Spock came onto the bridge. All the tension he was experiencing stemmed from feeling incomplete. So if Spock's presence stopped that feeling, logically, he **must** be the other half: the soul mate. That thought brought Jim closer to paradise than any sex (even with an Orion) or any daredevil stunt he did before and he was barely able to contain it. While it was beyond a miracle that he found his half, it would not be appropriate to blurt it out on the bridge during work.

"Captain, you seem joyful. I'm curious to understand what brought this on considering that nothing has occurred," Spock observed.

"It's nothing Spock. Just realized something. I promise I'll tell you afterwards," Jim said trying to refine his control on his emotions. The Vulcan just raised an eyebrow.

"Fascinating."

It took everything Jim had not to gush like a love struck teenage girl over that word and everything else Spock did for the rest of the shift. He decided that he would tell Spock over their daily chess match but a grouchy Georgian doctor prevented that.

"Dammit Jim, what has gotten into you? It's like you turned into small child who's had too much sugar," Bones growled.

"It's absolutely nothing Bones. I'm fine! You don't have to break out the hypospray," Jim insisted. The grin on his face didn't do anything to appease McCoy.

"You're going to have to come into medical bay. It's unnatural to see you this excited," he ordered.

"But I'm okay Bones! I swear on the _Enterprise_!"

"Doctor, the Captain wanted to share something with me after the shift was over. Judging by his reactions, it is logical to conclude that this information is welcomed news," Spock stated.

"He can tell you when I'm done examining him," Bones snapped.

"It'll only take a minute, I promise!"

Alas, the kind doctor didn't heed to the protests of his patient and as a result, started dragging him out the door. Before the Captain was completely ushered out of his bridge, he grabbed the controls of the conn and yelled what was on his mind, blissfully unaware that his words were being heard all over the _Enterprise_.

"I LOVE YOU SPOCK!"

Hell broke loose.

Bones automatically let Jim go as his jaw became slack. Spock was unable to contain the few moments of shock on his face. Chekov and Sulu exchanged money under the conn while the rest of the bridge was silent. Jim used this as an opportunity to further explain his feelings. His shift was over.

"I think I've loved you for a long time now. I mean, when you first came down the stairs during the court martial I was like, hot damn that is one hot man. But since you were the one who ratted me out with the test it was mostly ignored and signed off as my ridiculous libido because when don't I think of sex? Anyway, after the shit that went down with the _Narada_ I came to really respect you because of your emotional strength and other crap. And throughout this whole mission into deep space I learned about the eyebrows of doom and your wit and how gorgeous your ass looks when you're bending over. Not to mention your eyes, oh my God, how I love your eyes. They are so human and expressive and I think that they made me really fall for you more than that ass of yours. Does that make any sense? I love you when you're beating the shit out of me because of the stupid shit that we get into on this ship. I love you when you're being extremely Vulcan but you're eyes and eyebrows are expressing your emotions. Not to mention your ears. Dear God, I was gone the moment that I had to touch your ears on Ruben VI," he rambled with a large grin.

"Captain, are you aware that the speakers are on?" Spock inquired and that was that.

It was going to take a lot to clean this one up. But in the end, Jim Kirk fulfilled his lifelong dream: to find the person that could make him complete.

...Even if he was going to be killed for the fangirl way he presented his feelings.


End file.
